Welcome to Volume Control: your very own amazingly, brutally, eye-poppingly good-looking VIP Volume newsletter!

Just a reminder that Volume Control is prepared by Volume resident MC, DJ and writer, Harley Augustine, so if you have anything to contribute (news, info, feedback etc.) then please email him at harley@writemix.com.au by 8pm each Monday and he’ll do his darndest to include it on your behalf.

Well, the Smurfs with megaphones wave teeny tiny placards and weep … but the inaugural International Red Mushroom Harvesting Festival kicks off as planned …

So, without any further delay, here’s the next issue …

Harl's Thought For The Week...

There are lots of words in our modern English vocabulary that aren’t necessarily called rude but we all know actually are – so shouldn’t we do something about it, people? I’m referring here to the sort of words that may have had one meaning back in ancient times or on the dark streets of Elizabethan villages, but now have a completely new one in the 21^st century– or one that was there the whole time which now ultimately wins out for some reason or another, in the global vocab stakes. There are loads of them. Think about it … or let me do some of the thinking for you. Here’s a good one to get you going: Beaver. Doesn’t get much ruder than that, does it eh? We don’t even have these wood nibbling little critters anywhere on our fair continent, so the ‘other’ meaning of this seemingly harmless and innocent word is the one that undoubtedly prevails - unfortunate, I know, but true. Here’s another one: Arsenal. Oh, sure it refers to storage of weapons and a list of provisions, but have a look at it … and then say it … then look at it again. It’s blatantly offensive, and Blind Freddy and his cousin Deaf Eddy can see and hear it. Try using it in a sentence: “Yes Colonel, I’ll make sure we put that in our arsenal immediately” … obscene. Ass – sure it means ‘donkey’. But like a Cock is a male chicken, a bitch is female dog, a knob is a door handle (or piece of butter), and a pussy is a small cat … ass is not readily used in 2005 to talk about long-eared miniature horses, is it? And what about Volvo? Oh, actually that one’s okay – but gee, bugger me if it doesn’t sound rude. Anyway, while you think of some more of the above (or, not!) I leave you this week with some random off cuts from my pattern of thoughts - Harl’s favourite thoughts for the week: 1. Can dogs have stutters? If so, do they b-b-b-bark? 2. Are photos of shrimp ‘getting busy’ classed as prawnography? 3. Are chickens aware that they don’t have lips? 4. Do parking inspectors dream of long lunchtime queues at the bank in their jurisdiction’s busiest shopping precinct (with short term parking only)? 5. Will Survivor Guatemala really be the best yet?

Last Week...

Alpha delta Charlie bravo … transmission start … as the air raid siren sounded out across Melbourne for the third year in a row, well over a thousand civilians gathered in the city’s favourite Saturday night bunker, Room680, to witness a handful of the nation’s elite special ops bomb squadron drop their biggest, loudest, and most devastating payloads on an up for it, hands in the air Volume Main Room. With camouflage tees, shorts, caps n’ pants galore, and more military decoration than the set of MASH, Volume was transformed into an army HQ fresh out of Platoon; and with more bombs exploding than the last fifteen minutes of Apocalypse Now it was a night that will long be remembered in the hearts and minds of Volume society. A row of plasmas ablaze with animated explosions and flames, four 1200’s, two DJM600’s, two CDJ’s, two DVJ’s, and eight DJ’s with crates packed tight with the most explosive choons of days gone by. Lest we forget … how much the last eight years of dance music have completely and utterly rocked! Taking to the skies on the first raid of the night, Dee Dee flew solo and delivered a House-laden payload of late 90’s classics with precision and flair - before Steve Bleas and Richie Walton positioned themselves in tandem formation above the main room and set about completing the elite squadron’s next mission: to pepper Volume with even more bombs and leave the floor burning! Firing the likes of Da Hool’s ‘Meet Her At The Love Parade’, and LK’s ‘Runnin’, Bleas and Walton (who was making a welcome return tour for Volume’s DJ Squadron) accomplished their mission with ease and by 0100 hours Room680 was ablaze with hands up, smiles on and ‘f*ck yeah’s!’ With Bleas and Walton back at base safely and enjoying a post-mission beer, Ivan ‘Goose’ Gough and Andrew ‘Iceman’ Padula took their iron bird for a spin after loading it’s shells with the hottest, most volatile wax from their respective arsenals. Unleashing A-grade explosives like Chable & Bonnici’s ‘Ride’, Jan Johnston’s ‘Skydive’, Silver City’s ‘Manila’ and Astudio’s ‘SOS’, Gough and Padula were as unrelenting in their selection of bombs as they were immaculate in their timing when dropping them: Volume’s HQ was on fire and by 0200 hours the atmosphere was as hot as some of the GI Jane’s enjoying strategic R&R on the podium. As Gough and Padula returned to the hangar with an empty weapons bay and each filled with the warm sense of military pride that emerges at the end of a job well done, Majik’s Papa Smurf and Squadron Commander Mark James took to the skies and proceeded to drop bombs that made the 1980’s French atomic tests in the Pacific look like a series of minor puffs of smoke in a year nine science class. PVD’s ‘For An Angel’, Gat Décor’s ‘Passion’, Iio’s ‘Rapture’, BT’s ‘Remember’ (yes, the Sasha mix), and Azzido Da Bass’s ‘Doom’s Night’ all came tumbling out of Mark and Papa’s lofty B52 and hit their mark with the sort of accuracy that would land them a gig flying tours with any of the world’s finest aerial military assault divisions. Bombs, bombs, bombs, and more bombs – they were going off everywhere: ‘Diamond’s For Her’, Duke’s ‘So In Love With You’, and Kings of Tomorrow’s ‘Finally’ … Commander James and Wing Leader Smurf flew a successful and decorated mission, indeed. With Mark and Papa back on base and debriefing, Harley Augustine took to the skies for the final morning raid of the mission and wasted no time dropping a veritable string of successive progressive and progressive trance bombs – including Tilt’s ‘Invisible’, Bluefish ‘One’, Traveller’s ‘Believe’ (yeah, Ivan Gough!) and BT’s ‘Mercury and Solace’. Mission Debrief: Saturday night at Volume was quite simply the bomb …

Feigan In Front – the weekend wrap of the oh so “Beat Suite”…

Start transmission >>

Beat Suite with Feigan

Well, Well, Well, Bombs Away was the phrase of the day! Bombs nights, running on past experiences have the habit of being HUGE, so to speak. This year’s Bombs night was nothing short of spectacular! We kicked off proceedings in the Beat Suite @ 1.00 this week, the club was jam packed from the second the doors opened so we were in for a night of tasty, tasty treats! I took the wheels and drove an eclectic blend of tunes that have had the pleasure of residing in my record crate for the past 4 years. It’s always good to have the chance to bust out the old favourites and Saturday night was the perfect opportunity - everything from “Ride On Time” to the Kinobe re work of Green Velvet’s “La La Land” – I was in heaven – much fun was had!! New faces were also noticed throughout the evening, although I have a sneaking suspicion that this had something to do with our special guest of the night – TKO. Happy Birhday Boy!! Bringing a supporting sound that fitted snugly within the Beat Suite’s new musical direction, TKO had the crowd going silly with his blend of phat dirty synth-grinding electro that had the joint rammed to the rafters for the duration of his set – no doubt we’ll be seeing him again as his performance on Saturday night was spot on! Tahl & Rowie took over from TKO and brought a whole new dynamic to the room. The duo (affectionately known to close friends as Nick & James) have been pushing their trademark sound with the notorious Bamboozled parties for the last year and a half and the beauty of this being we get to see this every week @ Volume rather than having to wait once a month to see the decks go crazy! Nice work once again lads! Word on the street is that something special is being but together for us later in the year – keep your eyes and ears peeled for news of grand proportions….

Feigan signing out

End transmission <<

Track of the Week

Kings of Tomorrow – ‘Finally’

Dropped by Commander James @ 0345 hours – perfect timing, perfect vibe, perfectly designed bomb …

Drink of the Week

“Screw Driver” (for those born after 1980 it is known as the classic “Vodka and Orange”)...

Luca is off the JD and Coke and needs some Vitamin C to help his immune system

Keep The Volume Down On This …

Drop The Pressure: In scenes that can only be described as devastating, one of Volume’s favourite barmen dropped his first flaring bottle in living memory on Saturday night. Eyewitnesses reported shortly after the incident that while the bottle of undisclosed alcohol remained intact, the highly decorated professor of alcoholic mixology and cocktail showmanship was shattered. “It will take ages for him to pick up the pieces”, said one distraught member of the Volume faithful. “He takes his flaring very seriously – I’ve tried to flirt with him a thousand times but he’s usually too busy catching bottles back there”. However, in a startling twist to this story, a group of witnesses from the opposite side of the bar claimed days after the event that is was indeed flirting that caused our Superbarman to uncharacteristically let his bottle of plonk, well … plonk! “He was talking to this chick and he just lost it”, said one witness wearing a highly interesting t-shirt and designer jeans. “It was kind of like when the kid in The Goonies drops the water cooler bottle: I got it! I got it! I don’t got it!” Anyway, in any case - flirting or not - don’t be expecting a repeat in a hurry … this is his first, after all!

Word Of The Week

Kingsize

Pronunciation or King-sized Larger or longer than the usual or standard size beats and peaks: a king-size DJ with king size choons; king-size vibes; very large in musical scope or intensity: a king-size set; measuring about 132 BPM by 80 inch; used of a Meat Katie; being of a size that will fit such a DJ: king-size Melbourne main room..

This Week...

Meat Katie (UK)

Mark Pember aka Meat Katie has long been a fixture on the breakbeat scene as both a DJ and producer, in the last few years his unique brand of tech-funk that takes influence from tech & tribal house, techno & electro, but with his trademark breakbeat feel, has really kicked off, with both house + breaks djs sighting him as one of the most consistent players out there. His genre defying sound is also reflected in his DJ sets, which have seen him supporting the likes of The Chemical Brothers, Asian Dub Foundation, Death in Vegas, Ken Ishii & the Dubpistols, to name but a few. He has toured Australia with The Boutique & Gatecrasher, done a number of US.Canadian tours - and played everywhere from Argentina to Hungary to Scotland. Forthcoming shows include the Two Tribes tour (Australia) with Layo & Bushwaka, Hong Kong with Basement Jaxx & Shine (Belfast) with Lottie & Umek. Last time he played at Room was the huge Futurebreaks Party in 2003. Catch him again this time for a KINGSIZE set at Volume.

Very limited $20 tix through Room680 and Ticketek. More on the door.

VOLUME CONTROL EXCLUSIVE:

Harley Augustine’s Top Ten Tunes

 1.  Dave Seaman Group Therapy–My Own Worst Enemy (Walsh & Coutre mix)

2.  Deep Dish – Say Hello (PVD mix)

3.  Phil K & Habersham – Cloudbrake (Oliver Moldan remix)

4.  Sprocket – Kickflip

5.  Spirals - X

6.  John Gurd – Future (Dave Robertson mix)

7.  Ashtrax – Freeload (Free Love mix)

8.  Boogie Drama – Stalkers Groove

9.  Murat Uncouglu – The Flame

10. Planet Funk – Inside All The People (2005 Deep Dish mix)

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